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Monday, August 30, 2010

Boys Will Be Boys

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I can't seem to leave some news stories alone...

Boys Will Be Boys

Yes, they will. They can't help it.

I know right now that I'm going to piss off a lot of folks in several groups, so if you're leaning is in the following list, you may want to stop reading now.

(1) Educators

(2) Feminists

(3) Social Liberals

(4) Creationists

I think that covers it, at least mostly.


Humans evolved as hunter/gatherers, and we still are to a large degree. In the past, men hunted and women gathered. The proof of this is still with us...

Men have thicker, stronger bones so they don't break as easily when a [fill in the name of your favorite ancient or modern large game animal] tosses them against a cliff wall. Men have larger and stronger muscles to better overpower a [fill in the name of your favorite ancient or modern large game animal]. Men are better at concrete problem solving than women so they can figure out how to keep a [fill in the name of your favorite ancient or modern large game animal] from doing any of the above to them.

On the other hand, women have more stamina so they can walk all day to find fruit, nuts, and berries and carry them back to the village. Women tend to be better at abstract problem solving so they can figure out how to feed the village when there really isn't enough food. BTW, we call that "intuition".

So, like it or not, women and men are very, VERY different. So different in fact that it's not out of the question for scientists from an alien world to see men and women as two different species.

And those differences extend to children as well.

Girls will play at house and other more "domestic" games. This is to better prepare them for raising and managing the family. In other words, these games will fulfill the gathering part of the human equation. The games tend to be more tranquil and far less violent than the play displayed by boys because the girls, in the hardwired parts of their brains, see the aggressive games of boys as being something that will kill off the tribe.

Boys, on the other hand, play in more aggressive ways. They make "guns" and "knives" and "clubs" to wage "war" against each other. As a side note, keep in mind that a "gun" is simply a "club" on steroids, and a thermonuclear bomb is just a really big gun. Anyway...boys will play at dominance games to sort out the social hierarchy. These games prepare the boys for their role as hunters in the same human equation used by the girls. However, since the roles are different, so are the means to reach the end results needed.

And this is where the facts come to light...

We are still hunter/gathers, and we need both hunters and gatherers. Without both factors in the equation, we will fail to find the answer. Evolution has provided this for us, but there is a problem...

We want to suppress things to fit our flawed concept of how things should be. There are two main places where we have gone astray in this balance of power:

(A) Make Boys Into Gatherers: We want boys to be calm and peaceful like girls. We want to suppress the aggression that is key to their development. When we do this, the behavior doesn't go is simply shoved down inside of the boys until it boils over, usually not until adulthood. Ever wonder why we are seeing more serial killers than in the past? Ever wonder why most serial killers are male? Well, here's the reason.

(B) Make Girls Into Hunters: Today, we want women and girls to be "equals" to men and boys. I'm not sure what "equal" means, though. Does that mean that we cut off a woman's breasts and use them to build her a penis? seems that for many people, we cut off the man's penis and graft it onto the woman. See (A) above. In practice, girls are forced into a career, and as women, they neglect their family. They leave their mate alone and they dump off their children at daycare. The woman can have a six-figure income and many still wonder why they feel alone and unfulfilled. The reason is both simple and clear...the hardwired parts of their brain know that they are failing to do the job they were designed to do.

Any species has just exactly one main function: To perpetuate the species. To do that, we must raise children into functional adults. To do that takes a team approach. And that team should contain both male and female role models.

Can such a team be formed from same-sex couples? I see no reason why not. The why of this is because we're not talking about a couple here...we are talking about a community. Yes, a community has the responsibility of raising the children living in it. How big that community is depends on a lot of factors. It might be a family unit. It could also be a neighborhood. It might be an entire city. A country would also fill the bill. Or even the whole world.

Yes, I said "balance of power" above...

Girls need the influence of a male. It is a male role model who will teach her how good men treat women. It is a man who will teach her when she needs to stand up for what she believes instead of rolling over. It is the male in her life who will protect her.

Boys need the influence of a female. It is a female role model who will teach him how to control his aggression. The woman in his life will tell him how to treat other women. And it is his female support group that will help him learn to be a good man.

Conversely, girls need a woman's input to learn to do the gathering part of the equation, and boys need a male around to teach them to hunt.

Children need both sexes around to teach them how to be human. The perfect balance comes when the child, now an adult, knows when to be compassionate and understanding and when to stand firm and fight.

Neither extreme is good...too much gatherer in the mix, and the first "bully" that comes along rules the world. Too much hunter in the blend, and we all go out in a bright flash of white light.

The results of our failures to realize these basic design features of humanity are many and almost all negative...

We have men who can't control their aggressive nature preying on society. There is, sadly, little hope for "fixing" these men. Such deeply engrained personality disorders are rarely treatable. They will continue to behave in the same ways forever.

We have women who are unfulfilled and feel somehow empty despite their professional success. Sadly, these women have little hope of being freed from this situation because we have built a society that values financial prowess and position more than humanity itself.

The solution is actually pretty simple...

We let boys be boys and girls be girls. We allow the gatherers and hunters to do the things evolution designed them to do.

We have to stop the extremists on both sides from destroying humanity. There are those on the left extreme of the social scale who would allow us all to become sheep. At the same time, the far right of the social scale will likely kill us all.

Either way, humanity ends.

The answers are never at the far ends of the bell curve of probability.

They are always someplace in the middle.

Where the unique powers and skills of the hunter and the gatherer come together to form a perfect humanity.

Keep Loving!
Melodee Aaron, Erotica Romance Author

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