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Saturday, June 4, 2011

On Tweens and Teens

My oldest daughter, Amanda (@AmandaJDouglas on Twitter), has been the subject of a number of my blogs, and yes, here we go again.

Amanda will officially be eleven years old on Tuesday June 7th. I say “officially” because for the last eleven months and about twenty days, she has told everyone she can get to listen that she is “...almost eleven...”. I guess all kids do that, though I don't remember doing it myself.

But the transition from a little girl to a tween started a long time ago, much to the dismay of her father.

Amanda and her sister Debbie are not my biological children. They are my husband's children from his first marriage. When Jack and I were married, we convinced (long story) his ex-wife to surrender the girls and I legally adopted them. Though we share no genes, the girls and I are sometimes far too much alike for Jack's comfort. Amanda in particular has picked up my habits of being outspoken, flirtatious, and in general lacking anything even close to inhibitions.

She is also growing up pretty fast. Amanda is already 5' 4” and tips the scales at about 110 pounds. That's not at all surprising since Jack is 6' 9” and about 265 pounds, and her egg-donor is a big woman.

Jack's biggest issue is that Amanda is hitting puberty early. Well, she's still in the “normal” curve, but I think Jack would prefer her to wait a while for all of that. Until she's about 32 or so.


Amanda has breasts. Nice breasts that are probably going to be bigger than mine in a few years. Bitch. And all of that “baby fat” she had as a little girl is being replaced by a drop-dead hourglass figure. Her face is taking on the shape of a young woman, too, instead of the round features of a kid. Yeah, Jack hates it.

What really freaks Jack out is that Amanda's tastes in clothes are changing. Just two years ago, for example, she preferred and wore the typical little girl one-piece swimsuits. Last year, she decided she liked the modest two-piece suits. Now, she wants actual bikinis. Not quite to the string bikini stage yet, but she's getting there. The amount of material needed to make her skirts has steadily decreased, too.

Any day now, I expect Jack to chew his arm off.

While Jack has all manner of issues with Amanda growing up, Amanda herself is having some problems, too.

The biggest for her, at least right now, is that Amanda is a very good musician. She plays the guitar (several kinds that I don't understand), and sings. Well, the aforementioned growing tits are getting in the way of the guitars, and her voice is changing. What really kills her is when her voice cracks in the middle of a song.

The issue for both Jack and I is that Amanda's hormones are playing ping-pong with her brain. Nothing really too bad as of yet, but I can see it getting worse.

Just as two examples...

As I mentioned above, Amanda has a Twitter account. She is very careful about who she follows and how she interacts with them both because she is a smart girl and because her dad and I, and several of our company's network and security staff look at every single bit (not just the bytes!) of data that pass to and from her system. But, she will sometimes go past her curfew because she is either talking to or about some boy or another. Her staying up late is not the issue here. The issue is that she has agreed to shut down at a certain time, and then goes past that without telling us. Really, we have no problem so long as she asks beforehand if it's OK for her to stay up a little later, and sets a time. It's a matter of making a commitment and sticking to it.

The other matter is where she decided to order some clothes on her own. More or less. Amanda showed up in some rather, shall we say, “advanced” clothes, particularly a couple of nighties and some jeans that looked like they were applied with a spray gun. When I asked her where she got them, she told me right up front she bought them online and that her dad approved the purchases. Well, he did. Sort of. Amanda asked Jack if she could buy some clothes. He said “yes” without knowing what she was going to buy because he assumed she wanted like Winnie the Pooh pajamas. And she didn't tell him that she wanted something from Victoria's Secret. Yeah, they were both wrong on that one! I chewed Amanda's ass a little. I chewed Jack's a lot.

The point is that Amanda is pushing the envelope.

And that is exactly what she is supposed to do.

Yes, Amanda has already started saying that she's “...almost a teenager...”, and teenagers, like it or not, test limits. I can see the above behaviors, and others that we as parents can't even imagine yet, increasing in the coming years.

But that's OK with me. I know that is part of growing up and becoming the woman that Amanda will soon (much too soon for me, too) become. My job, as her mom, is to guide her as best as I can into womanhood, to teach her the things that a woman needs to know.

Like when the diamond in the bling-bling is big enough to damned near faint over.

Seriously, I know my job will be easy. Amanda is, as I said, a good girl, and she loves and respects both her dad and me. She will, almost certainly, want more freedom than we will give her, but she will understand why the limits are there. And she will, from time-to-time, test those limits. We will need to respond with love and firmness, and explain to her, maybe for the 87th time, why the limits are there.

While Jack would probably prefer to Amanda to stay his little girl forever, we both know she will grow up. And she will grow up into a woman we will both be proud of.

Me personally?

I can't wait!

Keep Loving!

Melodee Aaron, Erotica Romance Author
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Melodee's Books at BookStrand


  1. My daughter is 15, is developing excellent taste in clothes (no Victoria's Secret yet, thank goodness), shares my warped and occasionally sarcastic humor, and even when she's grown still will be my "little" girl. She, too, is developing well and likely will be quite blessed. She also has amazingly good sense and, fortunately, she hasn't gone "boy crazy." Yet.

  2. I'm not sure that Amanda has actually gone fully "boy crazy" yet. Really, I wonder if she ever will. She has more self-confidence than I ever had, and she knows she is a USDA Grade A Prime catch, and is VERY selective about her friends. So far, she has been even more selective about the boys she lets follow her around. Or even talks to.

    I have this feeling that she's not going to so much play "hard to get" as opposed to playing "get the hell away from me, freak". :)

    I can see a lot of frustrated males in her future!

    That's my girl. ;)